Life Without Bacon.: Archive

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Gimp foot goes racing.

After I injured myself in December, I did what anyone who respects their body and its limitations would do: signed up for four races. Despite the head shakes, eye rolls and “you’re insane” comments from friends, physical therapists and opinionated people of the like, I’ve charged on as if my body is invincible—as in I’ve been training hard, but not too hard (to...

Feb 27th

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“I could’ve married a Pittsburgh Steeler. That’s a lil Tina secret...”

– Tina Thompson

Feb 22nd

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Feb 21st

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Feb 16th

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Feb 15th

1 note

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Feb 15th

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Feb 13th

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Feb 11th

2 notes

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Feb 7th

18,476 notes

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Feb 7th

4 notes

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Feb 6th

795 notes

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Feb 1st

2 notes

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Jan 27th

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Jan 25th

229 notes

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Jan 13th

643 notes

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Jan 11th

5 notes

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Jan 11th

19 notes

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Jan 10th

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Jan 9th

31 notes

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Jan 9th

3 notes

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Jan 6th

131 notes

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Jan 6th

11 notes

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Jan 5th

14 notes

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Jan 5th

46 notes

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Jan 4th

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Jan 3rd

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 22nd

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What men think we think of them on the treadmill.

Look at him speeding up. He is a gazelle. Of sex and kindness. He is a sex gazelle, grazing the pastures finding evil hyenas chewing carcasses of former friends. He is roaring at the hyenas, despite the fact gazelles hardly roar. In fact they never do. He’s taking said carcasses to the starving gazelle youth of his tribe. He is turning his head in shame for doing such a just act. He is...

Dec 14th

25 notes

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The pros and cons of injuries.

If you’re like me, then being told you can’t exercise is akin to the anxiety-inducing feeling some people get when they lose their phones. No TEXTING…life is surely over. I feel the same way about being separated from the treadmill. (Yup. I said it.) However, in a gallant effort to be world’s most positive human (which comes oh-so-naturally to me), I have identified some...

Dec 13th

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Dec 12th

771 notes

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Dec 12th

23,072 notes

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Dec 10th

88 notes

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Dec 9th

16 notes

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Dec 9th

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Dec 9th

7 notes

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The mystery of the missing rabbit stew.

Due to my much unappreciated internal alarm clock, I woke up one fine Saturday morning to find a bowl of meatless meatballs on my nightstand (can I get a ‘nom’?). Better than pizza, I suppose, but either way, the sign of a festive night—and I say ‘festive’ because I was fresh off my company holiday party, and I think it’s safe to say that what happened...

Dec 8th

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The day I met Doctor D.

Doctor: Have you ever hurt your foot before?
Me: No. But I've had lots of knee and ankle injuries.
Doctor: So are you clumsy or just a tomboy?
Me: Both. And I have weak joints.
Doctor: That's not true.
Me: Yes it is.
Doctor: No it's not.
Me: I used to be fat so you think my joints would be able to handle my body weight, but I guess not.
Doctor: I can tell you're going to be funny on pain pills.

Dec 6th

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Dec 6th

123 notes

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Dec 5th

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Dec 1st

4,937 notes

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“You should be able to crack a chestnut with your inner thighs. If you...”

– Tina Thompson

Nov 30th

2 notes

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Sriracha: The sauce, the myth, the legend.

There are times when I think my relationship with hot sauce is becoming unhealthy…and then I stumble upon gems like this cartoon from The Oatmeal and am reminded that I am not alone in my freakish love for some good ol’ Tasty Firestorm. Not to mention, this Napalming the Jungle practice is genius. I’ve been doing it for years without realizing my self-conscious simply...

Nov 29th

9 notes

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